Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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