My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
