I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
my liver is dry heaving
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
