Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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