my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize