You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
