I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
