i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize