she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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