when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize