the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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