you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dicks are not precious.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
