Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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