There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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