her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
