He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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