I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
