when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
