So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
