he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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