we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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