Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
