Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
