My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize