How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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