you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
