I didn't shave. On purpose
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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