Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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