The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
