I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
