What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
