In America we eat man semen.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
