My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize