how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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