Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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