I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
