I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
