Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize