And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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