Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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