So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
