Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
