I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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