It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
