Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
