overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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