either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
