so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
