dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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