Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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