you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize