I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
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his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina