peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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