can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon