The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
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no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?