We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.