oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
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Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing