I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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