i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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