i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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