I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
