I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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