I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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