evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Soap is not a condiment
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
